Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Because it's funny... and sad. Posted by Hello


At 11:40 AM, Blogger STAG said...

> >[Courtesy of Colin Mochrie (Newfoundlander extraordinaire), from "This
> >Hour Has 22 Minutes", CBC Television]
> >
> >On behalf of Canadians everywhere, I'd like to offer an apology to the
> >United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well
> >and for that, I am truly sorry.
> >
> >I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't
> >of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a
> >shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not
> >like you actually elected him.
> >
> >I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than
> >you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and
> >than your own.
> >
> >I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our
> >would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.
> >
> >I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I
> >you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.
> >
> >I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer
> >we feel your pain.
> >
> >I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up
> >a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it
> >took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but
> >that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.
> >
> >And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
> >apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a
> >thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over
> >We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with. Thank you.
> >

At 5:11 AM, Blogger Ovonia Red said...

Very funny. When was that written? It must have been before this recent election.


At 12:16 AM, Blogger STAG said...

Yeah...the line about "its not like you elected him" sort of gives it away. But it is funny nonetheless. I wish I could write like Colin Mocherie, around him, NOTHING is sacred or safe!
Somebody in Washington stood up on his hind legs a few days ago and stated that Canadians were rapidly going more and more to the left. Its maybe a matter of perspective...but it seems to us (well, me...) that the US media seems to be leaning more and more to the right. Could just be a matter of perspective. Oh well, as I have said before...everywhere I go, folks is just folks...and worth celebrating just as themselves. Old Walt had the right idea.
Why do depressed people always read Kafka? Thats like crack for the depression centre of the brain! And pseudo-intellectuals always quote Nieche?
And thanks Cap, now you have spoiled all my subtle fantasies about barbie doll thighs....eeeuuuuuuhhhhh.

At 11:14 AM, Blogger STAG said...

And a further update to the above....the Cabinet Minister who called Mr. Bush a moron has just been sacked. In fact, she was booted right out of the ruling (so called) Liberal party and is now sitting as an independant...a backbencher with no more power than a single vote! The reason? She stated that American foreign policy was flawed. I dunno about this....it seems that a Cabinet minister should keep her nose out of US internal policy, but foreign policy DOES affect the government she served, and is within her perview. I guess she shouldn't say so though.

Kipling of course is my favorite...not as deep and intellectual as Witman, but this has the same effect on me...especially when I had a couple of Warrant Officers and a pilot or two arguing about which airplane I should fix first....


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run --
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!


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