Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Stickin' it to the--

Okay, I'm really, really late in posting this, but here it is:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-869183917758574879

I wanted to add this as a video to my blog, but I haven't found a code for it yet. It is Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondents Dinner--and it is the funniest (and occasionally most depressing) thing I've seen in a long time.

Watch it!

3 Comments:

At 6:25 PM, Anonymous Anna said...

I watched it. The whole thing. After midnight on Saturday...er, Sunday.

And for something completely unrelated...(and a lot shorter)
http://www.nothingtoxic.com/media/1144584311/Angry_Monkey_Punches_Marine

 
At 3:53 PM, Blogger STAG said...

I read the transcript a few weeks ago! Priceless! What ever possessed them to hire Colbert to do a talk. Trouble is, it was a roast, and was supposed to be cuttingly funny!

 
At 12:24 AM, Blogger STAG said...

Not a transcript of that roast, but this one is good...


I wanted to say something about the Umberto Eco quote that was used earlier from The Name of the Rose. That book fascinated me because in it these people are killed for trying to get out of this library a book about comedy, Aristotle’s Commentary on Comedy. And what’s interesting to me is one of the arguments they have in the book is that comedy is bad because nowhere in the New Testament does it say that Jesus laughed. It says Jesus wept, but never did he laugh.

But, I don’t think you actually have to say it for us to imagine Jesus laughing. In the famous episode where there’s a storm on the lake, and the fishermen are out there. And they see Jesus on the shore, and Jesus walks across the stormy waters to the boat. And St. Peter thinks, “I can do this. I can do this. He keeps telling us to have faith and we can do anything. I can do this.” So he steps out of the boat and he walks for—I don’t know, it doesn’t say—a few feet, without sinking into the waves. But then he looks down, and he sees how stormy the seas are. He loses his faith and he begins to sink. And Jesus hot-foots it over and pulls him from the waves and says, “Oh you of little faith.” I can’t imagine Jesus wasn’t suppressing a laugh. How hilarious must it have been to watch Peter—like Wile E. Coyote—take three steps on the water and then sink into the waves....

...Now I know you’re all going to say, “Stephen, Stephen, immigrants built America.” Yes, but here’s the thing—it’s built now. I think it was finished in the mid-70s sometime. At this point it’s a touch-up and repair job. But thankfully Congress is acting and soon English will be the official language of America. Because if we surrender the national anthem to Spansih, the next thing you know, they’ll be translating the Bible. God wrote it in English for a reason! So it could be taught in our public schools.

So we must build walls. A wall obviously across the entire southern border. That’s the answer. That may not be enough—maybe a moat in front of it, or a fire-pit. Maybe a flaming moat, filled with fire-proof crocodiles. And we should probably wall off the northern border as well. Keep those Canadians with their socialized medicine and their skunky beer out. And because immigrants can swim, we’ll probably want to wall off the coasts as well. And while we’re at it, we need to put up a dome, in case they have catapults. And we’ll punch some holes in it so we can breathe. Breathe free. It’s time for illegal immigrants to go—right after they finish building those walls."

 

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