Monday, August 06, 2007

This is how I spend my work day.

What follows is the e-mail conversation between four interns last Friday. We were hashing out carpool details. I have entered the world of superior academia, as you will soon see.

Each e-mail is preceeded by the initial of the person who sent it.

E: Shotgun!

Da: Everybody knows that shotgun can only be called upon visual confirmation of the craft. Please conform to the accepted rules.

E: I'll concede to that rule, so long as we also acknowledge the legitmacy of the "back-in-time shotgun" rule, which I will invoke in the event that, upon seeing said craft, someone else calls shoutgun first.

Da: Fine, but only if i can invoke the well known "lanky legs" clause which overrules all shotgun declarations, back-in-timed or not.

E: Ah yes, the "lanky legs" clause. My least favorite, especially since it goes hand-in-hand with the "stubby legs" clause which means I always have to sit bitch.

Z: I would also like to inroduce the shotgun challenge, which is accepted as legitimate in my car. While walking to the car, anyone who does not succesfully call shotgun has the right to "challenge" the shotgun caller. This challenge consists of 3 games of rock-paper-scissors. If the challenger defeats the shotgun caller in all 3 games, he or she gets shotgun for the ride. But if the challenger loses just one game, the originally shotgun caller retains shotgun privileges.

D (Me): I'm still waiting for someone to invoke the "I get violently carsick" shotgun clause, which, in my experience, trumps all other shotgun clauses.

Da: Violently carsick ALWAYS trumps all other shotguns. HOWEVER, it also earns the caller "sissy points." And trust me, you don't want those.

D (Me): I don't know about that. If you get enough sissy points you can redeem them for prizes, such as the "I have a flat tire and I don't know how to change it" assistance prize. You also have the added bonus of winning more sissy points every time you redeem them for a prize. And believe me, I know people who have built their entire existence on the collection and redemption of sissy points.

E: Agreed. I myself have accumulated an arsenal of "sissy points" which I've used to have 1) bugs killed; 2) heavy and not-so-heavy furniture moved; 3) ikea furniture assembled; 4) people come to my apartment instead of going to their's; 5) people go to bars/ restaurants that I prefer… the list goes on.

At this point, having wasted the entire morning, it was time to leave to go to lunch. We wound up taking two cars, so both E. and Da. got to ride shotgun.

But I still like my Dad's version of shotgun. This is where he calls shotgun, then sits in the back seat.


At 7:06 PM, Anonymous Anna said...

*sigh* :}

True, I have only a vague general idea of what y'all compose, but I'm hoping very loudly that E. has a good copy editor for her work. (Or, if it's a transcription error, I'm nudging you gently to GIS for Bob the Angry Flower.)

I knock myself off the grammar nazi pedestal sometimes.
A few years ago I made a horrible typo when I emailed a student regarding his request to force-add into a class. I never got a response to that email. I'd put "Force-ass" as the subject line.

At 7:14 PM, Anonymous Anna said...

Ok, so there're way more "Bob the Angry Flower" GIS results than I thought.

Here's one of the ones I was remembering:

At 7:25 PM, Blogger Ovonia Red said...

Anna, you make me paranoid. And then you make me feel a bit concerned. For you. Have you tried therapy?

This was a cut and paste project of an informal work e-mail. Of course we pay a bit more attention to our actual work (and even if we make an occasional slip, each question that we write is seen by about 50 other people before it goes out to be tested).

At 8:47 AM, Anonymous Anna said...


Sorry for makin' you worry about me. I dunno why I'm so nit-picky about grammar & punctuation & stuff...but I liken it to mathematical equations.

Maybe only a liberal arts major could make this analogy, but maybe
"Bob are they're" is to me what
"2+2=5" or "2#2=4" might be to a math teacher.

I understand the idea that informal writing isn't held to strict grammar and punctuation guidelines...I just don't understand how/why people don't care and/or don't know whether they're using the correct homonym or apostrophe placement or subject/verb agreement, etc.

Spelling & grammar were pretty much the areas in school that I excelled-at (...ok, in which I excelled) and enjoyed.
But, with the advent of Spellchecker, being a sorta good speller seemed to be an almost useless skill. Having trouble dealing with deadlines made becoming a copy editor/grammar guru extraordinaire not seem viable as a career.

I'm a tad jealous of people who're able to pursue that line of work. I suppose there's an argument that correcting others' grammar-type mistakes is petty jealousy surfacing...but I really think I'm trying to help (albeit in an extremely anal manner), too.

At 2:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...



At 3:26 PM, Blogger Ovonia Red said...

Oh, Zing. Ouch.

At 10:38 PM, Anonymous Anna said...

Well, yeah, there's the whole "Dictionary According to Anna" thing, too.

(Heheh... at first I thought I'd written that I was "sorta anal" and Pat was questioning my qualifier.)


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