Friday, March 23, 2007

Nothing is simple

Well, nothing is simple in my life. I manage to complicate things every few months. Latest complication? I've been offered a new job (the job I wrote about awhile back). I didn't really think I would be offered the job, so now I just have no idea what to do. I keep waiting for some great insight or something, but nothing is coming. I know I should make a list, but... that always seems to me to be a very artifical way of making a decision that includes elements that can never be recorded on a list. I just keep trying to think about how it all feels--does it feel right, does it feel wrong, where do I think I sould be professionally, where do I think I should be presonally...? And I get a different answer to each of those questions. I'm starting to think that my only course of action here might just have to be inaction--a decision to not change anything right now. I mean, could I really handle another change anyway? Can I take that kind of upheaval? Or if I make a change now, will that lead to more stability?

And I can't get over the fact that they actually want to hire me. I mean, I feel like I just pulled a fast one on these folks. Don't they realize how completely clueless and unqualified I really am?


At 3:03 PM, Anonymous Shari said...

Heh. As for your last paragraph here, I definitely feel that way after most interviews, and yet people keep hiring me! At some point, you have to start to wonder if maybe they're right, and you really ARE competent!

By the way, when I talked about making lists before, those touchy-feely things you're talking about belong on lists, too, as far as I'm concerned. :-) You can put things like, "I'm comfortable here," on the Pro side. Your reasoning actually makes a lot of sense to me.


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